What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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