Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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