I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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