what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
