no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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