that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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