Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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