you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
