he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
