His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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