just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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