dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
