plz talk dirty to me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
