Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
soo... how was my night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
