pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if only i could text you this smell
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
