Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
