I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
