She said her name was "party"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize