Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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