I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
