I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
