Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
