Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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