Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
