It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
