found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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