sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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