theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
