I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
