Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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