We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
