so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
