I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
