she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize