i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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