i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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