I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
