I got chris browned last night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's not a walk of shame if you run
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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