Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
