i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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