Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
