I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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