I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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