it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The adults are the big ones right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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