i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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