My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
