Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize