sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
