y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
