I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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