if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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