Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
