I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize