Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
