I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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