Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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