I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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