he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
