he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
