She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
