okay pat passed out under dana's car
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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