Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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