Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize